this helium heart i hold on to by its string
take what you like from my life, stranger: my time, my warmth, my companionship, my friendship
(just know my smile will never be yours :))

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we all need memories to remind ourselves who we are.

says Leonard, anterograde amnesiac, main character of 2001 film Memento.

its true. memories define our identities. what we remember becomes who we are.

and yet even neurologically normal humans have fallible memories. memories can be reconstructed, even implanted; eventually, lost altogether.

our world is but putty.

stumbling about in the shadows for that elusive something

a congratulatory note to myself:

yes, i still have an almost infinitely long way to go before i hit guru level. but at this point in time, i think i’ve at least made substantial progress from where i was this time last year, in terms of Physics mastery. its still painful, but less painful than before, and this is with me grappling with an increased content load. so yeah. keep going, miss gee, you still gotta hit guru level.

///

a friend’s birthday is this Saturday, and i’ve been asked for suggestions about how it should be organised.

well, the best and perhaps most positive way to make an event memorable, is to inject lots of fun into it. so that’s what i hope to successfully contrive: a way to inject fun into her birthday.

i think a good way to go about it, is to use games that will elicit laughter from everyone. it doesn’t have to be that difficult, as seen from the Running Man episodes i’ve watched - sometimes a game can be the simplest, most trivial thing, and yet generate lots of fun.

///

in a few weeks

i will get time

to realise its right before my eys

and i can take it… if its what i want to do

i am leaving

and this is starting to feel like

its right before my eyes

i can taste it

its my sweet beginning

you don’t understand:

i am different and yet the same, at different points in time.


it depends on which side of the coin you choose to make your judgement from: superficial, or latent.
pe teacher: you got a horrible time on the mile
me: it does not matter how slow you go as long as you do not stop

darling, dear, you made your choice.

you made your choice. it wasn’t me.

i shall say nothing. feel nothing. walk away.

in the end, i guess we’ll never actually be friends. never actually be comfortable conversing one-on-one, face-to-face. despite everything that was ever said. despite how i feel that, you are the only one among the 24 who’d understand best.

tell me what kind of shit is that. what for, if this is where this ends.

///

you’ll never be invisible to me. even if it seems otherwise. i don’t know if the equation holds true the other way round. i don’t care.

///

a game of Temple Run before the start of the Economics paper.

i will keep my mind free and unfettered. i will do what is required, but not sacrifice myself. and at the end of the day, i will prevail.
Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
老子 (via -warmtea)

and a new assault of examinations begins! BRING IT ON!